Sunday, December 24, 2006

Happy Holidays!!!!

I will be at work for 8 long hours tomorrow. My proposal to kick all the patients out of the hospital so I could have the day off, wasn't accepted so I will be sitting in my department playing poker on my laptop and eating tons of junkfood that I will steal from the other suckers who have to work as well.


Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The Knee Report

There is no damage to any tendons or ligaments in my knee. It is just very badly bruised under the kneecap and will take a few months to feel "normal" again. The doctor took away by knee brace and crutches and told me to go back to work. I tried to get an hour restriction out of him but he said to go to work and see what happens. So, I go back tomorrow for a 5 hour shift. Basically, it is going to hurt but I can't do any damage by walking on it. I just have to suck it up and go for it. The real test will be the hockey game on Thursday night as my seats are in the 14th row of the upper bowl. Lots of stairs and they are all concrete. We've seen how well I do with those. Wish me luck!!

Monday, December 18, 2006

The Ugly Pt. 2

When we last left this tale of woe, I had just flown through the air and landed with a thud on the concrete below. The first thing Maura asked was if I was okay. I said a rather weak no and she then asked me what hurt. I think I may have said everything but it's kind of fuzzy. Maura didn't want me to move but the concrete was cold and I needed to evaluate the damage so I rolled over and, from there, managed to get up on a nearby bench. A passer-by, who must have witnessed my great aerial demonstration, went to get security and I sat in semi-shock trying to decide what hurt the most.

It only took a few seconds to realize that something was wrong with my knee. It was the first part of me to hit the concrete and it hit hard. I also saw blood on my left hand and the ring finger on my right didn't feel good either. I was lucky though, I didn't hit my head and all my Ethel M candy was intact.

Security arrives and it was decided that calling the paramedics would be the best option. In the meantime, they got a wheelchair and took me to the nearest employee break room. Imagine my surprise to see Dove and Ghirardelli chocolate on the table in the Ethel M factory. They said something about Ethel M being affiliated with them but I wasn't buying it.

Once the EMT's arrived things got really interesting. I've got to say, Las Vegas has some HOT paramedics. They asked if I wanted something for pain, which is like asking Al if he wants a SoCo, um....yeah, pain killers would be good. It became a competition between 2 paramedics to see you could start the IV first. Ryan may have won but he left me with one hell of a bruise. Anyway, the morphine hit me quick and I was soon on a stretcher and in an ambulance for the bumpiest, roughest ride of my entire life. I think the driver hit every bump between the chocolate factory and the nearest hospital, which was a good 10 minutes away.

Arriving at a hospital in an ambulance will not get you seen any quicker unless you are near death. At least not in Las Vegas. I was wheeled straight through the ER and into the waiting room where I was triaged and left to wait. Since I was on Morphine I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open but I vaguely recall Maura showing up and eventually being moved into the ER. Once there, I got to sit in a hallway with other patients who were waiting to be seen by the doctor. So much for patient privacy and this was supposed to be the quieter hospital. My business became the business of those around me and I was not too pleased. I work in a hospital and patient privacy is stressed ad naseum so, to me, this was very unprofessional. Of course I was so doped up on Morphine I didn't exactly object.

A doctor finally made her way by my part of the hallway, spent 20 seconds looking at my hand and knee, then ordered the x-rays. I saw her twice more after that for less then 10 seconds and I was released. All-in-all I was at the hospital for 4 or 5 hours to see a doctor for less than 5 minutes. They didn't even clean the blood off my hand.

The verdict was that nothing was broken but I should have an MRI on the knee and not walk on it. Thanks, like the shooting pain every time I tried to bend it didn't clue me in to that fact.

I see the knee doctor on Tuesday to find out the extent of the damage and how much longer I will be sitting at home on my ass. I'm hoping to be out at least through the holidays, and that is looking like a sure thing right now, but I don't want it to be too serious as I'm already getting bored.

Lastly, if it hadn't been for Maura, I wouldn't have gotten through this. She changed our plane reservations, took care of the car rental, made sure I had pain killers to take and waited on me as much as possible. She also called my dad and my work to fill them in on what was happening. I owe her a big thank you, as well as a few Vicodin.

Up next: The good and the bad parts of the trip.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Trip Report: The Ugly, Pt. 1

Everyone who went on the blogger trip last weekend already knows about the good (tournament) and the bad (wallet) portions of my trip. However, only the few who were in the "girly chat" the other night are aware of "the ugly".

Maura and I had decided when we made our plane reservations to stay until Tuesday the 12th to have a day to decompress before heading back to the "real world". Our plans for the day included chocolate, testing Grubby's slot machines at Green Valley Ranch, and getting some fresh air while looking at some pretty Red Rocks. Well, we almost made it through the first stop.

We drove out the the Ethel M chocolate factory. I can't go to Vegas and not come home with some Satin Cremes, it's impossible. Since we had a car and needed to use up more of the gas, we headed for the birth place of the luscious chocolate instead of one of the many stores in the strip area. Besides, it was on the way to Green Valley Ranch, our next stop.

After getting our free samples and making our purchases we decided to take a stroll through the Cactus Garden. I hear it is beautiful at night as they have it all lit up for the holidays. During the day, it's still neat to check out but it was a bit dreary and overcast. Maybe that should have been a hint to stay away!

While wandering through the garden we decided to head left down a little path of stairs. There was nothing ominous or scary about them but, if this had been an episode of "Lost In Space" the robot would have been yelling "Danger, danger Will Robinson". Me, I would have ignored the damn piece of tin and descended the stairs out of spite. Instead I started down while chatting. Obviously, multi-tasking was not the way to go on this particular set of stairs.

Things were looking good as I descended the first step without a problem. Suddenly, my feet took on a life of their own and I started to fall. I struggled to regain my balance and reached for something to keep me upright. Unfortunately the rail was not within my arm span. I flew forward, over the last couple of stairs and landed, knee and hands first, on the hard concrete below. Imagine if you will, the human cannonball at the circus, mis-firing. I'm fairly certain that is what I looked like. Maura will have to verify. Upon landing, I looked like I was making a snow angel, only I decided to fall forward into the snow instead of backward. If only there had been snow underneath to break my fall. Concrete hurts!

Next up: Part 2, Morphine, sweet Morphine!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

You Know Who You Are

I just wish I knew your identity. Anyway, whoever you are, you know what you did and I thank you very much. If you are at the blogger gathering this weekend please identify yourself so I can buy you a drink to say thanks. I don't know what I did to deserve it but thanks, again.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

I Apologize in Advance

I just marked everything as "read" in Bloglines, on purpose. Usually I do it accidentally, a mis-click of the mouse, but I was so overwhelmed with the number of posts I made the decision to start over. So, when I see you this weekend and you start talking about stuff you have posted on your blog, don't be surprised if you are met with a blank stare. With a couple of exceptions, I have no clue what has been going on with anyone in the past two or so months. At least I won't be at a loss for topics of conversation.

See you in Vegas!

Friday, November 24, 2006

I Need Friends

I have jumped on the MySpace bandwagon and created a profile. Now I need friends. So far I have Joanada and 2 other requests out. Please help a girl out and be my friend!

God that sounded fucking pathetic.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

No Excuses

"The Wave should only be done at slow sporting events, like Baseball."

This is something I wrote in my little notebook last night as I watched the Wave move it's way around HP Pavilion during the Sharks hockey game. The last thing I want at a hockey game is people jumping up in front of me while my favorite player is taking a shot on net. Even though it started during a stoppage in play, it continued after the puck was dropped and I was not pleased. Fucking tourists!

Speaking of tourists, I will once again be making the trek to Vegas for the December blogging event. Check raising drunk cowboys brings such joy to my life, I really can't wait. I will be rooming with Hella Shelly along with Maura, who some may remember from my first blogger trip. It is also looking like a special guest will be making an appearance as well. For now I am keeping the identity under wraps just to annoy the crap out of the other attendees.

I finally got to meet my nephew a few weeks ago and I have to say, I almost reconsidered my decision to not have children. Then I came to my senses and kicked a two year old. Whew, that was a close call. Seriously, he is about the sweetest child I have ever met. Then again, he's only 8 months old and can't talk back yet. Once they start talking, it goes down hill fast. Evidently there are some decent photos of me holding the kid. Maybe I'll post one at some point.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Thank You, Thank You Very Much

I walked for Asthma research almost 3 weeks ago. I meant to update and thank everyone before now but, life has had other things in mind. Nothing bad, just busy. I just want to thank everyone who donated to the American Lung Association. I was able to raise over $600 for Asthma research and that was near the top out of everyone involved in the walk.

The day was cold and overcast but we had a good time. I finished the 5K in about an hour, which, considering I never exercise, is pretty damn good. So here is the final list of all those I need to thank:

My April Twin
Easycure and Easycure's mom
Bobby Bracelet
Mr. Speaker
Donkey Puncher

If I forgot anyone, please leave me a comment and I'll add you to the list. I tried to keep track but I get distracted easily. Again, I thank you all. I really appreciate the support and my whole team thanks you!

Chilly is the grand prize winner. He gets to rename my blog for a week. I'll send you an e-mail so we can work out the when.


Sunday, September 24, 2006

Long Overdue

Things have been crazy, as always with me, and in all the craziness I forgot to mention my new sponsor (no, not the AA kind). Basically, it was discovered that I do have a price so I'd like to welcome the fine folks from to my blog. I hope they don't live to regret this decision when they realize how much my blog truly sucks!

Also long overdue has been any talk about poker on this blog. I haven't played a lot since the Vegas trip as I was in a bad down turn that continued throughout the trip. I seriously couldn't win if my life depended on it and I decided when I got home to take a little break. I ended up playing a bit over the last couple of weeks and I must say, not a damn thing has changed. I still can't win. Actually that is not entirely true. I get ahead and continue to play only to give back my profits and then some. I guess I just don't know when to stop. It happened in Vegas as well. At one point I had doubled my buy-in but I was having so much fun, I kept on playing. By the end of the night I had about $6 left.

It's actually a problem I've had since I started playing poker. I can't get myself up from the table no matter what. On-line or live it doesn't matter, I don't have the discipline to stop when the table changes or the cards go cold and I still have some money left. Any advice????

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Still Around

Hello all! I am still alive but it's been crazy the past couple of weeks. Between health issues and work I haven't had time for anything else except sleep.

I still need donations for the Asthma walk that takes place in a couple of weeks so I am opening up my poker accounts for donations. If you haven't donated and are still interested you can make a transfer to April98 on either Full Tilt or Poker Stars. I would really, really appreciate the donations and there is still a chance to out donate Chilly for the right to rename my blog.

To Donate:
Transfer to April98 on Full Tilt or Poker Stars
Direct link to my donation page


Monday, September 11, 2006


Time for another 5K Asthma walk donation update.

First, there is a new leader. Chilly has edged out my twin and has a good chance of getting the opportunity to rename my blog for a week. I won't repeat what April said when I revealed this news to her but if I were you Chilly, I'd be watching my back.

Second, there is still time to make donations and to make an even bigger donation than Chilly to take the renaming rights away. I haven't reached my personal goal yet and my team still needs a lot of help with the team goal so please keep donating.

Direct link to my donation page

And now, thanks to everyone who has gotten off their ass and donated.

My April Twin
Easycure and Easycure's mom
Bobby Bracelet
Mr. Speaker
Donkey Puncher

Again, thanks for the donations and if you haven't donated yet PLEASE DONATE SOON!!!! PLEASE!!!!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Just A Few

I'm just going to take a few minutes and write whatever comes into my head....Consider yourself warned.

Steve Irwin's death was a shock to me. I really liked him and his show and my heart goes out to his family at this time. If that video footage ever makes it on the internet I hope the person responsible gets struck by lightning. No one needs to see it and it isn't how he would want to be remembered. He should be remembered for his conservation efforts, his educational programs, and as a husband, father, and son.

UPDATE: I found a couple of links I thought may be interesting. The first talks about the video and whether it should ever be released to the public. They pretty much agree with me but it is interesting reading.

The second link is the Animal Planet schedule of a couple of very good Steve Irwin shows. The first is The Crocodile Hunter - Steve's Story from 2000 and the second is Confessions of a Crocodile Hunter from 2004. Both tell the story of Steve's life through interviews with him, his family and his friends. I watched both the other night and found them to be very good as well as heart wrenching. If you get a chance check them out, they will be on all week.
I finally saw Brokeback Mountain over the weekend. I was going to do a review but just take the opposite of what everyone in the media said about the film and you'll have my opinion. The worst part is that I will never get those two and a half hours back. There are more convincing gay love stories on the prison drama OZ.

My life is still crazy. I still have two jobs and health issues that won't go away. I see a new doctor next week and maybe I'll finally get answers. I haven't played much poker which is why you haven't seen much writing about it here. I've been playing other games and it's been a nice change. Hopefully I'll find my poker game again soon but for now I'm just going to limit my play until I feel I'm really ready to dive back in.

Now for the 5K asthma walk update. Thanks to those who have donated thus far I am in the lead by a little over $100. I've called out my other team mates and told them they better get their ass in gear before I completely embarrass them. I couldn't do that without all of you but I still need your help.

Direct link to my donation page

The following people have donated money (If you're not on this list, what's your excuse?):
My April Twin
Bobby Bracelet
Mr. Speaker
StB (I think)

and two other people whom I think are bloggers but can't identify be their real names. If you made a donation and aren't identified above please leave me a comment. Seriously I don't know that many real names and that's all I get in the notifications.

Also, twin is still in the lead for blog renaming rights. There are still 3 weeks left to make a bigger donation and steal the prize.

Again thanks for the support and keep spreading the word so I can continue to kick ass.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006


I had been dreading it all day. I bought the tickets a few months ago, back when I still considered myself in the Soul Patrol and was trying not to catch the McPheever but, months later, I really wasn't looking forward to the concert. Since it was really a birthday present for my step-mom and my dad was willing to go even though he wouldn't like most of the music, I knew I had to suck it up and go. I figured I could at least make fun of all the screaming 12 year olds in the audience and get some joy out of the evening.

So, there I was at Pop Tarts Presents American Idol's Live on Tour wondering what the hell I was thinking. Matching outfits and cheesy dance numbers was not at all appealing to me. Imagine my surprise when I discovered this was not going to happen (at least until the encore minus the outfits). Each singer had their time on stage to sing 2 or 3 songs. Sometimes there would be a duet when one singer was about to leave and another start their set. Everyone actually sounded pretty damn good even if I don't normally listen to a lot of what they were singing. I won't get too detailed because I know most of you don't watch American Idol and won't have a clue who I am talking about but my favorite part of the show was when Chris, Ace, Elliot, and Bucky, came out and sang "Patience". Yes, the Guns and Roses classic. Bucky and Chris played guitar and they all took turns singing. It took four of them to cover Axl's range but they did it well and it was a cool moment in the show.

So, all-in-all I was very impressed with my first, and most likely last, American Idol concert. We had great seats and they weren't very expensive so it was 2 1/2 hours well spent. Oh, and on the way out, we got a sample of the new Mint Chocolate Chip Pop Tarts. It was an unexpected treat for the long ass walk back to the car.

Now for an Asthma walk update:

I wish I could say the donations are pouring in but, frankly, they are not. I'm wondering if my two previous posts offended people, if everyone is just all tapped out, or if none of you love me anymore. I'm hoping it's the first or second reason because, if it's the third, I'll have to cry myself to sleep. Look, I'm not good at asking for donations and if I upset anyone, I apologize with all my heart as it was unintentional. If you are all tapped out I'll just say, I understand and leave it at that.

As it stands right now, my beautiful twin April is in the lead for blog renaming rights. There is still plenty of time to out donate her so get those donations in and help find a cure for Asthma.

Direct link to my donation page!

A big thank you to April for her support and thanks in advance to anyone else who decides to donate!

Sunday, August 27, 2006

That Sucked

Wow, I just realized how much last night's post really sucked. I've listened to more interesting Public Service Announcements. Look, here it is. I hate exercise, I hate mornings, and I'm hopelessly out of shape but I'm doing this 5K Asthma walk on September 30th, in the morning with bright sunlight shining down upon my very white skin. I am risking a migraine and a sunburn by appearing during daylight hours all to raise some money for Asthma Research and Education.

I know we have all been giving big all year long and it does get tiring not to mention expensive but, even though I can barely pay my bills, I've given almost every time I was asked. Now I'm asking for the favor to be returned. Is Asthma as serious as some of the other illnesses out there? Well, for a child who can't participate in the same activities as his or her friends, Asthma is devastating and every severe attack could be the last if it's not treated properly. Asthma does kill and every dollar earned gets researchers closer to a cure.

So, I am asking every person who reads this blog and every person who I have met in Vegas to help me out. What ever you can afford is fine. I set my goal low because I don't have time to do a charity tournament so I am dependent on your contributions. It would be great to exceed that goal but I'll take what I can get.

Donating is easy, the web page is all set up and it's all electronic so you don't have to worry about me running off with the money (not that I would but I thought I'd say that anyway). So please help me out and feel free to post this link on your blogs if you feel inclined to do so.

Direct link to my donation page!

Thank you in advance and all contributors will be acknowledged on my blog with the highest contributor getting the right to re-name my blog for a week.

The Wheeze Busters Need Your Help!!

Hello to everyone currently reading this post. I'm about to ask for something that many before me have requested and, hopefully, you all aren't tapped out for the year just yet. That's right folks, it's my turn to ask for your charitable donations.

On September 30th I will be doing a 5K walk with some of my co-workers in an effort to raise money for the American Lung Association. Our team name is The Wheeze Busters and this particular walk is to raise funds for Asthma Research and Education programs. I think most of us know someone who suffers from Asthma and how devastating it can be. And if you don't think you know someone who has Asthma, think again because I have it.

I don't talk about my Asthma much because, compared to my other issues, it's not a big deal for me. I'm lucky in that I know what triggers mine and can easily stay away from those activities. I haven't had an attack in over 6 years and I've rarely needed any medication for mine. That makes me one of the lucky ones. Most people with Asthma don't have it so easy and some people even die if not properly treated.

Imagine doing some activity that normal people do every day and, suddenly, you start to feel like you can't catch you breath. You start coughing and start feeling like an elephant is sitting on your chest, crushing your ribcage. It gets harder and harder to breathe and you know that if you don't get help quickly, you may die. That is the reality for many Asthma sufferers every day.

So, I am asking for your donations, big or small, whatever you feel you can afford and maybe we can put a stop to this terrible disease once and for all.

Here is the direct link to my donation page. April's Page

Our team goal is $5000.00. I set my goal at $750 but my personal goal is to raise more money than anyone else on my team. I need your help to do that but please don't feel pressured, just because I've bragged to all my co-workers about how great you all are when it comes to charity, doesn't mean you have to help me out. (PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME LOOK BAD, I BEG YOU ALL).

Actually, whatever you can afford will be greatly appreciated and the person who gives the most will get the great honor of re-naming my blog for an entire week. I know it's not much of an incentive but I don't have much else to offer.

Thanks in advance for your donations and if anyone wants to help me out further by posting my donation page to your blog please feel free!

If you have any questions or concerns you can e-mail me directly at April9807 AT aol DOT com.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

As I Sit Pondering

As I sit here on the couch watching the Degrassi every episode ever marathon, I wonder why my high school wasn't this cool. Then I remember that I live in the real world and my high school was in small town Maine. Sure, we had a Spinner, an Ashley, and probably a Marco, although he probably still hasn't come out, but they weren't nearly as good looking as these kids are. Seriously, I'd have loved high school if I had those faces to look at every day instead of the future rednecks of America.

Actually this is a good lead-in to some dreams I've been having lately. Basically, I go back to high school at my current age in an effort to do better in my classes. Talk about 10 kinds of wrong, why the hell would I want to go back to high school at 33! I had nothing in common with most of those people when I was their age, I'm pretty sure I have even less in common with teenagers now. Besides, if I go to a party where beer is present (and I would have to be drunk constantly if I went back to high school), I'm the one going to jail for contributing to the delinquency of morons. Those little fuckers would just lose their sports privileges for the rest of the quarter (happens every year in my hometown) while I shared a cell with Big Bertha.

I really have no point to this post but then I rarely have a point in any of my posts. I should re-name by blog "Totally Pointless" but what would be the point?

Friday, August 18, 2006

Final Table

I made the final table tonight of a FTOPS Satelitte for Event 6. I think it was the first time I have played a 6-handed tourny so I am pleased with the result although I didn't win a seat. I was the short-stack at the final so I was lucky to get that far. My final hand was actually ahead until the river but that's poker. I've played 2 tournaments since I got back from Vegas and this was my second final table (Bloggerpod was the other).

I hope this is my turning point because I lost a lot of money in Vegas and I wasn't sure I wanted to play anymore. I only played tonight because I needed a break from all the damn work I've been doing. 2 jobs make it difficult to find time to write as I'm either really busy or too tired.

Oh well, I pretty sure no one has missed me anyway.

And if you haven't been checking out the For Peyton charity auctions, get you ass over there. Even if there is no Auction going on you can still give some money to a great cause.

Friday, July 21, 2006


If you all jumped off a bridge I would probably follow!

Thursday, July 20, 2006


I've been having some weird dreams lately. Most are probably medication induced and I rarely remember much when I wake up but I do know there have been some crazy ones. Honestly, I don't mind so much. If I'm going to be dreaming I would rather it be something unrealistic or fantasy like. I wake up in a much better mood.

Take, for instance, the George Clooney dream I had last month. I'm not going into details but, in the dream, George was kind enough to say and do all the right things. It was a fun dream and when I woke up I was in a good mood because it was entertaining. There is absolutely no chance of any part of this dream ever coming true so I can enjoy it for what it is, pure fantasy. If I had it my way all my dreams would either be cast with complete unknowns or famous celebrities whom I will never meet let alone have any kind of relationship with. Seriously, dreams staring Clooney, Phil Gordon, or Starbuck from the new Battlestar Gallactica (did I just put that in writing?) are much easier to deal with than dreams like the one I had last night.

First a flashback. Picture it, I'm in high school and totally in love with this guy who is completely unavailable to me. We've all been there, falling for someone who is either married, in a relationship, just not interested in "that way", or, my personal favorite, gay. In this case, we were friends but he just has no interest in anything more. I started dreaming about him almost every night and woke up every morning feeling sad and alone. I knew that, no matter how much I wanted those dreams to come true, it wasn't going to happen. I had to go to school every day and see him. It fucking sucked, but not seeing him was almost as bad. All the dreams really did was keep me attached to him for a lot longer than I probably would have otherwise. The dreams gave me hope and kept the feelings alive. Again, it fucking sucked.

Fast forward to last night/early this morning when the new Mr. Unavailable (pick your own reason why he is unavailable because I'm not sharing that information) wanders into my dreams for the first time. I wasn't expecting it and I couldn't stop it. He said all the right things and I woke up feeling sad and alone. The sadness stayed with me most of the day but also caused me to really think about everything I've said in this post plus a lot that will probably remain unwritten, at least for now. One of the things that feeds my depression is the lack of a relationship in my life. Someone to really be there when things turn to shit and help me climb out of the pit. When I start dreaming of someone I know pulling me out or being there for me I would much rather stay in the dream because waking up feels like a punch in the stomach. They aren't really there and probably won't be, at least not in that way. Then I start to think that all I'm going to have are these dreams and there is never going to be anyone there. It just snowballs from there and every dream after just makes things worse.

I don't know that I really have a conclusion to this post. I'm still pondering things and wondering where this whole thing is going. Is it a familiar destination and should I jump off the boat now or should I hang in there because, just beyond the horizon, there will be something new? I think the answer will probably come while I'm asleep, I just hope I remember it when I wake up.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

How a Fucking Douchebag Kept Me From Meeting Phil

It was the moment I had been waiting for since the second I heard about it, Phil Gordon, object of my lust, had arrived at the Caesars Palace poker room. As part of the festivities before the blogger tournament, my wonderful twin had arranged for a charity Roshambo tournament to benefit Phil's cancer charity. Phil was going to attend and participate in the tournament to assure a good turnout and I wasn't about to miss it.

Phil arrived and started mingling a bit while we were waiting for the program to start. I was chatting with John, awaiting my opportunity, when Phil approached. John spoke right up, introduced himself, and started to kiss Phil's ass (he wanted to set up an interview for later in the week). I was patiently waiting for my turn to say hi when this fucking douchebag started talking and WOULDN'T SHUT THE FUCK UP!! He was going on about how he is a Full Tilt Affiliate (code: April98) and plays 12 tables at a time. He was monopolizing Phil and nothing short of a kick in the junk was going to get him to stop (and don't think I didn't consider it). Even worse was the fact that I could tell Phil was looking for the nearest exit. Seriously, this guy was fucking annoying as hell. I was trying to find a way to interrupt without violence or rudeness but it wasn't happening. Next thing I knew the program was starting and I was shit out of luck!

And that, my friends, is how a fucking douchebag kept me from meeting Phil Gordon.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

I've Been Called Out

I have returned from Vegas in one piece but with no money. Basically every part of the trip that had to do with playing poker or any form of gambling, sucked. Actually, sitting at the poker table and meeting new people was fun, it was the fact that I couldn't win that was getting me pissed off. So, instead of a traditional chronological, and somewhat boring, trip report I'm just going to address things as they occur to me. First up, getting called out.

I expected a few people to give me a hard time about the fact that I haven't posted much this year. I even expected a person or two to question if I still qualified as a "blogger" but bloggers tend to be very forgiving and I was actually only called out by one person. I won't mention his name (but it rhymes with Ziggy) because he was a little drunk at the time and may not remember much about the conversation. He wasn't listening to any of my excuses and I can't say that I blame him. We all have crazy lives and we all have our own shit to deal with. I started this blog to talk about poker and all my other addictions. I also wanted a forum to share all the crap that is going on in my life, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Lately there has been a lot of ugly. I guess part of me is so used to telling people what they want to hear that I would rather not say anything at all then continue the charade because I just can't do it anymore. Everything is not fine and I'm tired of telling people that it is.

Truth is, there have been some very dark days in the past few months. There have been some even darker nights. Things haven't been this bad since high school where I spent most of my energy keeping people in the dark about what was going on inside. I learned how to tell people what they wanted to hear to get them to leave me alone and I guess, by not writing, I was hoping for the same thing here. I stop writing, you all forget about me and I'm left alone to wallow in my depression. History repeating itself.

Then I went to college and met some people who wouldn't let me get away with that. I was still depressed but I wasn't alone so it was easier to deal with. I felt the same thing in Vegas. Even though I was losing my shirt I wasn't alone. People included me in their madness and tried to take my mind off my bad luck. And it wasn't just bloggers who were there for me but the dealers and poker room manager Michael Matts at the MGM were all trying to keep my spirits up as well. They wanted me to win and be happy (next time a buffet comp would go a long way in making me feel better). I was losing but started having fun at the same time. It was a great feeling and one that I don't want to go away. I can't curl up and hope that everyone leaves me alone. The ride is about to get bumpy. It's time to hold on tight.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

It's That Time Again!

Tomorrow I leave for Vegas for the WPBT summer gathering. I so need this vacation. Between the 2 jobs and health issues I seriously need a break. That being said, if anyone catches me anywhere near a computer you have my permission to slap me upside the head. The 2nd job is all on the computer and if I am near one it means I am checking in even though I have told all my co-workers that I will not, under any circumstances, go near a computer or answer their phone calls. That may sound extreme but they have been driving me up a fucking wall! Make one tiny mistake and they are all over me, save their asses constantly and barely hear a peep.

Enough of that, no more work talk for the duration.

I get into Vegas around 5pm Vegas time and about 2 minutes after checking out the room, I will be in line at Krispy Kreme. We have Krispy Kreme nearby but not eating them in Vegas just seems so wrong. After procuring my donuts I will be awaiting Hella Shelly's arrival and we will be heading out to dinner, possibly with a few others in tow.

From there the possibilities are endless. There will be drinking, poker playing, and all sorts of other blogger shenanigans. I'm ready for just about anything but mostly I just want to hang out and get to know some of you better. Oh, and win a hour long private lesson with Phil Gordon.

See you in Vegas!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Why Is It....

that when I am the most depressed, I play my best poker? The month of February was my best month to date and also my lowest point emotionally and the last two days have been great as well.

Something bad happened at work yesterday (hospital + baby + hysterical mother = something I never want to go through again) and after polishing off a beer, I played some poker. I decided to go up in limits, mostly because a table was open but also because I felt like it was time. I didn't crush the table but I did leave with a profit. Earlier this evening, I did crush the table. Cards were hitting left and right. People were betting into me, it was like a dream. Aces held up 3 times as did my Kings. Continuation bets were actually working. Again, I think I was dreaming.

I actually feel comfortable at this level so we'll see what happens in the next week or two. Maybe depressed isn't all that bad (and if you buy that, I've got a golden bridge to sell you).

See you in "Milwaukee" in less than a month!!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Can't Pass This Up

Online Poker

I have registered to play in the PokerStars World Blogger Championship of Online Poker!

This Online Poker Tournament is a No Limit Texas Holdem event exclusive to Bloggers.

Registration code: 5468197

Sunday, May 28, 2006

What the???

Phil Helmuth in commercials with the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus, isn't that a sign that the world is coming to an end? And speaking of Phil, anyone else eagerly anticipating the train wreck that will occur with him hosting Celebrity Poker Showdown? Another one of the seven signs, I'm sure.

Speaking of train wrecks, that's what my life has felt like most of this year. I suppose most of my life has been spent dodging the train. I don't remember a time where I have been really happy although there have been some short periods of joy here and there. Happiness has been like a mirage off in the distance, when I finally think I'm going to reach it, it disappears. There was an incident in early February that nearly put me over the edge. Things were probably worse than my darkest days in high school but I stayed away from the bad poetry this time and suffered in silence.

I've spent most of my life telling people what they wanted to hear, often to my own detriment. Any time anyone tried to confront me I simply said all the right things to get them off my back and went firmly back into my own state of denial. I must have been convincing because it worked every time. Of course, a lot of the time, people don't want to believe the worst so they will accept the lies and push the doubt out of their minds.

It's funny because the one person I finally came clean with, probably has known the longest that I have a problem. Actually, there are probably people who know but don't want to know so they have never hinted at anything around me but, I digress. When I went to see my doctor in March she knew something was very wrong but she waited for the words to come out of my mouth. I told her about the "incident" and that, since I was off the migraine meds that just so happened to help my state of denial, I was really having a hard time. I told her that I have suffered from depression since I was at least 13 and I was in a really bad place. I expected some sort of reaction when I said the word "depression" but she just looked me in the eye and said "I know".

It was so freeing to say it out loud but I wasn't jumping for joy at the prospect of others finding out. Most of my family aren't the type that really believe in things like depression. It's the whole "you have a roof over your head and food on the table, what do you have to be depressed about?", mentality. So, I've stayed silent, until now.

Although I don't see myself saying anything to my family anytime soon I felt the need to speak up and share with those I've come to know over the past year. Many of you have helped me without even knowing it over the past few months and I thank you. Sometimes just logging on and having someone be there is enough.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


For the first time ever the team I wanted to win The Amazing Race from day one, actually won the damn thing! That's all I'll say since it's not over on the west coast yet, but it put a happy end to my day since my hockey team hasn't faired so well.

That's right, the Sharks are done for the season. I knew going into tonight's game that they were probably not going to win. I just know the team well enough to know that they didn't have it in these last couple of games and weren't going to get it together in time to make a comeback. It sucks but there is always next season. I don't think I've ever been so calm during a playoff game but I've had a few days to come to terms with what I knew was going to happen and I was at peace with that. Frustrated, but peacefully frustrated.

I haven't had anymore weird dreams but that's probably because I've been so fucking exhausted. I've worked more hours this week than I normally do, plus I have had to go in earlier than normal, so I am wiped out by the end of the day. At least I'll have some money to take to Vegas with me in July.

Speaking of Vegas, I have reservations at the Excalibur for July 6th through the 11th and I'll once again be rooming with the Hella Cool Shelly. Now I just need to get my ass in gear and make the plane reservations. Is it July yet!!

Monday, May 15, 2006

Trying Something New

So, this hasn't been much of a blog lately. I could give a hundred different reasons why I haven't been writing but, seriously, who wants to read that? Instead, I'm just going to write. As a matter of fact, I'm going to try to write something every day this week. It may not be about poker and it may not have a point but I am going to make myself write anyway. Read at your own risk.

I've had some very weird dreams lately. They have been the kind of dreams that seem more like memories except they are so absurd I know they aren't. Take last night for example. I dreamed I was in a port-a-potty. This potty was on the edge of a very wet and muddy hill. While I was in there doing my business, part of the hill gave way and the potty started sliding down the hill towards a busy freeway. Somehow I managed to get the thing to turn away from the freeway but it was quite a freaky ride and I don't think I'll ever be able to go near a port-a-potty again. At least not without remembering this dream and laughing my ass off.

Until next time, tell me about your weird dreams.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

I'm Back!

I realize most of you didn't even know I was gone but I was and now I have returned. I was on vacation back east and spent over two weeks visiting family. I now need a vacation from my vacation. Oh well, such is life with my relatives. I came back with a story or two and will try to get them posted once I've caught up on a few things, including all the blogs I didn't read while I was gone.

Until next time.....pretend you actually noticed I was gone and let me know if I missed anything important.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Have You Signed Up Yet??

Charity tournament tomorrow on Full Tilt and POY points on the line. I just signed up, now it's your turn.

What: Hammer Out Cancer - WPBT-POY Circuit Event(Tournament ID 3381723 under the Private section.)
When: April 16th - Sunday
Time: 9pm EST
Where: Full Tilt Poker
How Much: $10 + $16($15 goes to American Cancer Society so buy-in is 25+1)
Password: dahammer
This will count towards WPBT-POY points!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

That's What I Get!

The playoffs weren't looking to be in the picture a couple months ago so I decided not to get tickets. Besides, I'm going to be out of town for all of the first round and part of the second. So, of course the San Jose Sharks just clinched a playoff spot. They can finish no lower than 7th place and could finish a few spots higher if all the planets align perfectly. Can you say oops?!!!!

Let me repeat the important part of this entry:


Sunday, April 02, 2006

Time to Pimp

I've been a bad member of the community lately and haven't pimped many (or any) of the events. Tomorrow night is the next WPBT WSOP tournament. Here are the details (stolen from Pauly):

What: WPBT WSOP Satellite #2
When: Monday, April 3rd @ 9PM EST
Where: Poker Stars
Tournament #: 21868191 (see private tourney tab)
Buy-in: $30 +3
Format: NL freezeout
Password: socoshot
Restrictions: Bloggers only
Attire: Pants optional

I won't be playing because I have no money at Stars and I have to work. I also have no interest in playing in the WSOP this year as I have to much shit to deal with right now (oh, and I suck at poker).

Good luck to those playing and I'll try to stop by and railbird when I get home from work.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Miss Me??

This is the third time in 20 minutes I have tried to write this post. I've written it a dozen times in my head but when I sit down to put it on the computer, I draw a blank. I don't know how many times in the past couple of months I have wished for my brain to stop thinking yet, the second I need it, it fails me. Is that irony, coincidence, or just fucking annoying? Oh well, it will come out eventually and then you'll all wish it hadn't. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Brief poker update: February = profit for the first time since last July! Yeah me!

Congrats to Gracie and good luck in whatever event you use the winnings for!!!

Until next time......try not to think so much!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

I'm Such A Loser

Jason has been in town since Sunday covering the WPT Bay 101 Shooting Star poker tournament and I haven't linked him up. He even said nice things about me on his blog so, really, it's the least I could do. So, go to Bluff Magazine and catch up on all the action, you won't regret it!

Thursday, February 16, 2006

The Best Damn Live Blogger Ever

The L.A. Poker Classic is in full swing and everyone's favorite Dr. is at Commerce Casino covering all the action live, as it happens. So, don't waste your time on those other tournament reporting sites (seriously, Dr. Pauly is soooo much better), visit Tao of Poker now for the best, and most original, live tournament updates on the internet.

Now blogging

from the
LA PokerClassic

Commerce Casino

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

In Memory of Tye-Dye

Tye-Dye, closest to the camera, with his buddy Ricci.

Born 18 years ago - Died 2/7/06

I am truly sorry for what happened, you didn't deserve to go out that way

and if I could go back and change it, I would in a heartbeat.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

I Don't Know When I'll Be Back

Right now I'm caught in the middle of a nightmare and I can't wake up. Blogging, poker, hockey......none of it matters. I'm numb, confused, and would like god, karma, and the universe to know that they can go fuck themselves.

Nothing more to see here for awhile....move along.

UPDATE: I just spoke with my mom and, although I feel a little better, I still don't want to talk about it. The important thing is that I am feeling a little better.

UPDATE AGAIN: Some good news out of the day. I am now a step-aunt. Tyler Patrick is almost 24hrs old and weighed in at 7lbs. 6ish ozs. The good should outweigh the bad but I've never been a "glass half full" kind of person so I still feel like shit.

Thanks to those of you who are reaching out. I really do appreciate it.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I'm Alive

At least I think I am. The last couple of weeks have sucked on just about every front. Hell, my blog turned one on January 2nd and I didn't even notice. I've been in a constant state of unwell for at least 2 weeks but it's probably been longer. I'm tired of being tired and I wish the constant state of nausea would go away. No, I'm not pregnant. It's probably the heart medication but I really don't know yet. I see the cardiologist next week. Until then, I'm just trying to survive.

Wow, that was a rambling paragraph. Short version, the new year has yet to improve on the old one. Expect my posting to be erratic until I am feeling somewhat healthy again.

One last thing, I will be in Vegas again from January 25th, late evening, until January 29th, late morning. If you are planning to be in town, let me know.