Sunday, January 10, 2016

Not On My Worst Enemy

My grandfather is currently a hospice patient in the comfort care room at the local hospital. He was first admitted to the hospital before Thanksgiving, just 2 days after his wife was admitted. He broke a hip and never recovered, but that tends to happen when you are 89 years old. He has dementia, a kidney tumor, and has fought pneumonia twice since being admitted. There is no getting better for him so now we wait and watch him breathe. Which breath will be the last? (Edit: He passed at 1:28pm, 1/10/16)

My step-father has just entered hospice. On Christmas eve 8 liters of fluid was removed from his abdominal cavity. It's called Ascites and, when it strikes, it means things are bad. Turns out step-dad has stage four pancreatic cancer that has spread to his liver, and probably some other organs. He has been drained of fluid 3 more times since Christmas and is now home with his own drain that the hospice workers can use so he doesn't have to keep going back to the hospital. He isn't bedridden yet, but I don't think it will be long and he probably won't make it to his birthday at the end of March.

These are the two most important men in my mother's life and she is about to lose them both. She is barely holding it together and all I can do is be there for her. I can't take her pain away and I can't fix her breaking heart. She doesn't deserve this much pain, no one does. Not even my worst enemy.