Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Where Am I In This Mess I Call a Blog

As I look back at my previous postings I find myself wondering who the hell wrote them? I see bits and pieces of me but not the ME that this blog was intended to be an outlet for. Instead I see the politically correct, don’t want to start any fights, have to be liked by everyone part of my personality that I convey on a daily basis. The me that stopped fighting with my stepmother years ago and still tells her family back east what they want to hear (except for a little slip a couple weeks ago that will probably come back to haunt me soon), even if it’s not the truth. What’s the point in having a somewhat anonymous outlet if I don’t use it to get out all the shit permeating my soul?

The first thing I need to get off my chest is that I suck at poker. I mean truly suck, as in have no business being at a table with real poker players. The good thing is that I can finally admit it. I really do want to become a better player but telling myself that I am better at the game than I really am, isn’t doing me a damn bit of good. Let me say it again, I SUCK AT POKER! I actually got mad at a guy who called my all in with 17 outs. He had 17 outs and I was pissed at him for calling. That is just fucking ridiculous (OMG, she just typed the f-word…..Get over it, it’s probably going to happen a lot more). I should have known my kings were no good and ditched them but I didn’t and got what I deserved. Of course even if I couldn’t figure out that I was beat I had no right to be pissed. Then I let him goad me into tilting and I replied to his comments with some not so nice comments of my own. I couldn’t stop myself. Luckily he shut up and the game continued until I went out on the bubble. Again, I deserved it.

So, if your still reading I bet you are wondering what else I need to get off my chest? I really don’t have a fucking clue (uh-oh, she used that word again). It’s way past my bed time and I have to work in a few hours….Or not, work hasn’t been that busy lately and I’m lucky I can pay all my bills let alone afford the trip to Vegas. The up side is that I get to sleep in a lot, but I don’t think that really makes up for the loss of income. Oh well, I actually like my job so I really should stop bitching. Besides, we get free food tomorrow (or later today after looking at the clock) for National Hospital Week, at least I think that is the excuse they are using to feed us burned hamburgers and cold chicken. Oh well, it’s better than the crap we usually get in the cafeteria.

Until next time, (that’s it, I have nothing witty to close with. For wit, go read one of the blogs listed on the blogroll.)

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