Thursday, May 12, 2005

My Secret Shame And A Contest

The first time I heard his music was probably while I was still in the womb so basically, I didn’t stand a chance. It’s not like I could go anywhere to get away from it, I was trapped for nine months.

I was probably seven when I got my first record player. It was one of those red boxed ones with a white plastic turntable and a matching case to store my albums. I have no doubt that the first album I played was one of his. By then I knew all the words to all his songs so it makes sense that I would play his albums and I played them almost continuously much to my dad’s dismay since his dislike for this singer is probably stronger than his dislike of Kenny Rogers and Phil Collins put together. Knowing this I was even more shocked at the present I received during my eighth Christmas.

All the gifts were unwrapped and the living room was a mess when my dad announced that I had one more present. It wasn’t in a big box wrapped in pretty paper with a bow on top. No, it was probably the smallest present I had ever received. It was a plain white envelope, nothing more. My parents could barely hold back their excitement as I tore open the envelope unable to imagine how something contained in that small of a package could be worth all this commotion. Yeah, I was an idiot!

So I get the envelope open and pull out two tickets to what was about to be my first concert ever. To say I was excited would be an understatement. I’m pretty sure my best friend heard my screaming from her house a block away.

I remember the concert in pieces, like snapshots in a photo album. There was a G-rated comedian who opened the show. The stage was circular and revolved so that everyone in the theatre could catch a glimpse of him during every song. He started almost every song at the piano but he didn’t stay there for more than a minute. At one point in the show he asked for a volunteer to come up and sing a song with him. The lady next to me went nuts and my mom nudged me trying to coax me into doing the same. I was a really shy child so there was no way in hell I was getting on that stage, even if I did know the song well enough to sing it in my sleep. Besides we weren’t close enough to be seen from the stage, even with the house lights on.

After the show, as we headed towards the exit, my mom and I saw a limo parked out by a side door. The rumor was that it was there to pick up the main attraction, the reason we had all gathered on that night. Mom and I stepped through the door moments before a security guard closed it behind us. We waited near the car with about 15 other crazy fans. It was freezing and I didn’t care. There was a chance I was going to get to meet my favorite singer, I wasn’t leaving.

This is where I wish my tale had a happy ending. Something along the lines of him emerging from the theatre and coming over to say hi, maybe sign an autograph but this isn’t a work of fiction. We stood there for what seemed like hours until my mom convinced me that he was probably long gone having left through some other exit. Truthfully I think she wanted to get to the car to warm up. In retrospect it was probably the right thing to do. Even if he had still been at the theatre he probably would have come out of the door and walked right by me like I didn’t exist and in turn crushing the dreams of his biggest fan. I remember it like it was only yesterday. No wonder I still listen to his music today.

At this point you’ve probably skipped ahead trying to find the name of this singer whose music I karaoked to long before karaoke was popular. Instead of revealing this little nugget of information I have devised a contest. I’ll give you a couple more clues as to this singers identity then you must send me an e-mail (please do not answer in the comments) with your guess. The winner will receive a free shot of the tequila of their choice at the AlCan’tHang after party in Vegas. Should more than one of you submit the correct answer I’ll come up with some sort of tie breaker to determine the winner. Only one entry per person will be accepted. The deadline for entry is 8pm Pacific time on Friday the 13th.

Your clues: He has been a guest judge on American Idol. He has almost 60 albums to his credit. One of his biggest hits was featured in one of the movies BG admitted was one of his secret shames.

If no one gets it from these clues I have one more I’ll add later. Taking into consideration that this is someone I am supposed to be ashamed of myself for liking, this should be easy.

Send all responses to april9807 AT aol DOT com

Good luck!

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