Sunday, June 19, 2005

I Wish I'd Been There

I got up Saturday after 40 minutes of sleep and crawled to the shower. I felt like I was dead and I was waiting for rigor to set in. How was I going to make it through the "big day"?

We picked up Shelly and headed towards the Aladdin. We were running a few minutes late so Maura dropped us off and went to park the car. Unfortunately we had to walk through the mall before we found the casino and it took a few more minutes to find the poker room. We checked in and got our table assignments. I was at Table 9, Seat 8 which should have been lucky (my on-line poker name is April98) but I felt so bad I didn't care. I had only met two people at my table which, under normal circumstances, would have caused me to be more social but I didn't have the energy to utter more than "hi" or "nice hand".

Seat 1 - CJ
Seat 2 - Mrs. Head
Seat 3 - Poker Nerd, later -EV
Seat 4 - Maudie
Seat 5 - Reader Matt
Seat 6 - ?????
Seat 7 - Shane
Seat 8 - Me
Seat 9 - Steve
Seat 10 - Whiskeytown

I don't remember much about my play. At one point I got Shane to lay down a hand where he might have been ahead. I had Q's and an Ace came on the flop. I think he had an Ace but I wanted that pot and managed to bet enough to get him out of the hand. That was the only significant hand I won and all it did was keep me alive through the break. I finally got knocked out by -EV in 38th place. I gave him my bounty (a shot glass from San Jose) and tried to decide what I wanted to do next. Maura was at the spa and wouldn't be done for awhile so I just hung around to cheer Shelly on. I also tried my best to talk with people but I was only at about 10% functional capacity and couldn't come up with any interesting conversation. This became the theme of the day for me.

After Bill won the tournament, people started to head in different directions. Some went to start the after party early and others went to eat elsewhere. Maura and I decided to find food but we weren't really interested in Mexican. We left the Aladdin and ended up eating at the Harley Davidson cafe. The food perked me up a bit but I knew it wasn't going to last long. By the time we arrived at the after party I had started to hit the wall.

The party was in full swing with bloggers at all levels of intoxication. I ordered a regular Margarita and tried to get into the spirit of the party. Unfortunately I was done. I know I talked to a few people. I remember talking with Iggy for a few minutes. He was trying to get someone to carry him around in a backpack but no one was really interested. I told him I didn't think it was a good idea to have an inebriated blogger stumbling around with him on their back but that didn't stop him from asking. I also remember Poker Prof doing his Marcel Luske impression. I think I laughed but I honestly don't remember. Other then that I don't remember much else. Maura finally came back from the M & M store and I took the opportunity to sneak out of the party realizing I had missed the chance to make some great connections.

In retrospect, I probably should have skipped the tournament and caught up on some sleep but I thought I could fake my way through the day. I spend way too much time wondering what other people think about me, though not nearly as much as when I was in high school, and I spent the rest of my trip wishing things had gone differently. At times it's been hard reading the other trip reports, realizing what I missed out on, and questioning whether it would have been different had people actually gotten to meet the real me instead of the shell of my former self that was available that day. I'm trying not to dwell on it, as it will just drive me crazy, but even now I still find myself thinking about it.

I do want everyone to know that despite what happened I did have a good time (it's hard to have a bad time in Vegas) but on Saturday I had nothing to offer and for that I am sorry.

Oh, one last thing, I want BG and HumanHead to know I still owe you guys a shot. I'm sorry it didn't happen this time around but if you catch me at the next one and I'll definitely pay up.

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