Poker?

Yes, I actually played some poker this week. I played in the $15,000 guarantee midnight madness and actually finished in the money. I think I made a whole 3 bucks! Considering I haven't played a poker tournament since I was in Vegas last December, I'll take it. There really weren't any memorable hands, I just happened to get some good pocket pairs at the right time and got all my chips in the middle. I expected someone to suck out but my cards actually held up and I stayed alive.

Speaking of poker, I can't believe I am going to be in Vegas again in just a couple of weeks. I'm excited of course but also nervous. I think this is the first time I'm going to be there with no "security blanket". No Maura, mom, dad or Shelly sharing space with me and helping me keep my insecurities at bay. I will be all by myself. It's not that I've never been to Vegas alone before, I went on a short trip a couple of months after 9/11, but I'm going with expectations to hang out with my friends and wondering if anyone really wants to hang out with me or if I'm just going to be humored for a while and then abandoned. See, I told you I have insecurities.

No worries though. I can always go back to my condo and curl up in the fetal position under the kitchen table if I feel like a reject. Actually, I'll probably just go play poker or something and take my anger out on some young asshole who thinks he's God's gift to the poker table.

Anyway, I'm not asking for anyone to hold my hand and make sure I feel included in whatever happens to be going on. I'm a big girl and just need to get over myself and have a good time. Seriously, I'll be in Vegas. If I can't manage to have a good time there, I'm even more screwed up than I thought.

See you in Vegas!

Couldn't Wait?

I think I may have been a little harsh at the end of that last post. Then again, I wasn't actually serious, well I was serious about the puking part. If you start puking, I'm running in the other direction. You'd think working in a hospital I would become accustomed to things like that but when bodily fluids and vomit start coming out of a person, I leave the room. If I didn't, the patient wouldn't be the only one spilling their guts on the floor.

Now that I've given you a nice visual, how about some bitching about work? As I mentioned before, I work on a per diem basis at the hospital which means I fill in if I'm available. I've been less and less available lately because all my co-workers do is bitch and whine about everything under the sun. I really can't stand to work with any of them and certainly don't want to work for any of them. I mean, they freak out so much about who's going to cover a shift when someone goes on vacation that they felt the need to call me while I was on vacation to ask if I could work two days at the end of June. AT THE END OF FUCKING JUNE, and it was the middle of April. Seriously, this couldn't wait until I got back? I politely told them I would let them know when I got back if I was available and then I waited 2 more weeks to tell them, just to watch them squirm.

As if that wasn't bad enough, when I got back to work after my vacation I arrived to find that the door to our department had a new coded lock on it and no one had bothered to call me with the code. They called me to ask me to work 2 days at the end of fucking June but they couldn't call to tell me the damn code to unlock the door? A lock on a door that hasn't been locked for the past 26 years! Now, all of a sudden we're concerned with patient confidentiality? The only good thing is now I don't have to worry about someone walking in on me while I'm playing on my laptop. I get a nice little warning whenever someone types the code into the key pad and can hide the evidence.

Yes, I take my laptop to work on the weekends, I get bored when it's not busy and what's the worse thing that can happen, I get fired? I'm the only person they have who works the weekend shift and there really is no one else to take my place. My chances of getting fired are slim but it won't stop me from trying. I may have to fire up some poker this weekend. Gambling at work must be against some rule and if not, there is always porn.

Not enough time!

How the hell did the whole month of April go by without me making one post? It's not like I didn't have stuff going on that I could write about. For example:

• I had another birthday.
• My great grandmother had her 100th birthday and I went back to Maine to celebrate.
• I had a beer shower at a hockey game and no matter what some of you may think, it was not enjoyable.
• Speaking of hockey......The Sharks are driving me insane!
• I've been trying to catch up on my TiVo but the shows just keep piling up. I think I watch too much TV. Really, aside from BSG, what's the point?

Going back to the beer shower, it may not have been so bad if it had been a decent beer. You know, a Guinness or Sam Adams, but no, it was Bud and I can't stand Bud. I hate the color, the smell, and the taste. The only time I drank one was because it was free, my sinuses were clogged due to allergies so I couldn't smell it, and it was so cold that my taste buds froze so I couldn't actually taste it. Of course I may not have been all that upset about the beer shower if the Sharks had actually won the game!

And last, but not least, I will be in Vegas in June. Once again I will have an extra bed at a secret, off-strip location. I will also have a rental car but, should anyone decide to room with me, please understand, I will not be your personal driver. I will also not help you if you drink so much you puke and if you pass out somewhere, I will leave you there. If I suspect alcohol poisoning I may call an ambulance for you but I will not do CPR if you stop breathing, even if you are good looking and single. If you're rich I may be willing but you'd have to show me a bank statement first. Anyway, if those terms work for you let me know and I will think about it. This is not first come, first serve. I have the right to refuse anyone for any reason or no reason at all. That said, I can be bribed.