Thursday, May 31, 2007

What's in a name?

It's no secret that I love reality shows. You name it and I've probably watched it so it was pretty obvious that I would be checking out Mark Burnett's newest offering "Pirate Master". I'm not going to get into how this show works as it's slightly complicated and I'll need to see another episode too really get it down. What I actually wanted to mention is one of my favorite parts of reality TV, the part where they flash the competitors name with thier job listed underneath.

I've seen some great job descriptions while watching these shows and I especially like the ones that you know are code for something that may be considered "less than optimal". Take for instance "VIP Hostess" and picture a tall blond with big boobs. In other words, she's probably a stripper. There are a million others I've seen over the years but the one I saw tonight on Pirate Master may just take the cake. One competitor, John, is a "Scientist/Exotic Dancer". What the hell? First of all, I saw him shirtless, I wasn't impressed....he was muscular but didn't have the "it" factor that makes a good exotic dancer. Second, I'd love to know what kind of science he is involved in. Something tells me it may include mixing drinks with "roofies" to get women in bed (provided he isn't gay like those Thunder From Down Under men). I heard him speak, there is no way he practices any kind of science that requires a brain (though he did know that Crocodiles like to hang out under Mangrove Trees).

Anyway, all above is said entirely in jest, I mean no offense to John, unless he doesn't know what offense means. I'm sure he is very good at which ever profession is actually paying his bills. So my question to my readers is this, what is the best job description you've ever seen on a reality TV show? Please share in the comments section.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

When It Rains

Last week was about the shittiest week I've had in years. First, the Sharks got knocked out of the playoffs. Second, the best cat I've ever owned passed away (no offense Punkin, you are my second favorite). Third, I found out the job I left my secure job at the hospital for, will only be able to pay me through the end of the month. Fourth, I have a cold sore the size of a dime on my lip. Seriously, if you've had a worse week lately, I'd like to hear about it.

Being faced with unemployment sucks but I've been there before. Usually it's by my choice but getting a new job usually isn't that difficult for me. I've got skills that can be used in almost any industry. The biggest problem is that I love working from home and there are very few legitimate options out there that would allow me to continue. I'm not really sure what type of job I would take that would be outside of the home. I really don't want to go back to sitting in a cubicle and I'm tired of health care. Hopefully I'll figure it out before I get really strapped for cash. I've already canceled Vegas in June to give myself a bit more time and I don't even want to go into how much that sucks!

The only good thing right now is that on Thursday I'm flying to Austin to hang out with my twin. In case you haven't heard, she is graduating from college. I can't wait to get away from the crap for a few days. Maybe I won't come back (trust me, the heat will drive me back to the Bay area, no offense April).

So, here is too a better week and an awesome end to the month of May. Wish me luck!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Good-bye Ricci

Ricci was named after my favorite hockey player, Mike Ricci. When Ricci moved in he was 12 pounds and looked emaciated, he soon grew to 18 pounds of pure fat. He was the most adorable cat ever. He had a look that would convince you that there wasn't much going on in that brain of his yet I always felt he was the smartest creature in the house. He got along with everyone and would purr at the slightest bit of attention. He slept with me every night and became my big snuggle-bear. He was my baby.

My baby passed away at 3:30 Tuesday morning. He was at home with me and my other baby Punkin, and went peacefully but I gotta say, it really fucking sucks. He was the most handsome cat I've ever seen and I'm going to miss him.