Thursday, July 19, 2007

What to do???

For those who don't know, the job I left the hospital for, the one at the Internet start-up, failed at the end of May. Since then I have been doing Customer Service Evaluations (fancy name for Secret Shopping). I'm having a lot of fun but the money comes in really slowly and I'm barely getting my bills paid. Today I had an interview for a job I would really, really enjoy. As a matter of fact, the job is mine if I want it. Problem is, it is way below my pay and skill level. I would have to continue the secret shopping but I really enjoy that so I'm okay with it.

The other option is to go back to the hospital and work primarily on weekends. I would make at least twice the money I am being offered at the "low pay" job and still have most of the week available to do the shopping gig. Problem is, it is the job I spent 5 years trying to leave due to an employee I don't get along with. If I took this job I would hardly ever work with her but her essence is always there and just thinking about being in the same building as her, even if our paths never cross, stresses me out.

Then there is the new, brick and mortar start-up, that my boss from the failed start-up is working at. This one has a much better chance of making it and the salary would probably be more than I have ever made at any job in the past. It would be new and interesting but also a lot of hard work. I would also be able to stop paying COBRA for my medical which would free up even more money. It will be at least another month or two until I would be hired so I still need to do something more substantial for income but I wouldn't want to accept "low pay" job and then turn around and leave them in a couple of months. They made it clear that they want me around for a while if I accept the job. I could go back to the hospital and leave in a couple of months as they are only hiring me per Diem anyway. Plus, I'm not really looking to go back there permanently but that doesn't seem quite right to me either. I'm not sure what to do at this point.

I don't know if the decision would be that difficult for most people. Either take the job that pays the most or take the one that is the most fun unless you can find one that is both fun and pays well, then take that one. For me, I have to also figure out which is going to be most conducive to my depression. Which choice won't make it worse. I deal with depression every day and never know how anything is going to affect me until I'm right in the middle of it. The job that I would enjoy the most may not be challenging enough but the one that pays the most may be a lot of hard work and too challenging. Both scenarios could make the depression worse. I won't know until I pick one. My only chance is if my brain suddenly clears and I have an epiphany. It happens, but not very often. I really don't know what to do.

So, anyone got an opinion to share or some words of wisdom? Any and all advice will be much appreciated.


gracie said...

This probably won't be too much help, but here's the advice I have.

Follow your heart.

Good luck and keep us all updated!

Shelly said...

Wish I had some advice! I've been wrangling with a job quandry myself for a few months, and have yet to figure it out. So, here's hoping you have that great epiphany!

osinsh said...

Go with the money.

I got the feeling, that that "heart job" still isn't exactly that [+/-], what you desire. Really don't know, how serious your depression is, but, believe me, it will get worse on empty stomack, when you can't afford the things, everybody else can. I fully agree, that someone could argue with me by saying, that "there's nothing without true love and heart"... or something, but they, probably weren't in bad places pretty often. There is nothing noble living without breakfast. Nothing!


Take the "money job", but never forget, that you are on the way for sumething else. It will be just your middle station.

Good luck.

Jason said...

Dunno if I'm too late to chime in, but...

Sounds to me like the second start-up is a great option. Hard work is a great cure for the blues, as long as there's break time (weekends, holidays, etc) for recuperation. You go go go, so hard that you forget about anything that isn't work. Also, money is a good thing. A very good thing.

One way or another, when you're down you've got to find something to keep you going. Here's hoping you find what you need.

golden said...

The weekend hospital job sounds like a no brainer to me. You can put up with it because you know it's only for a short time.

You shouldn't feel any guilt if you are up front with them and tell them you don't know how long you can stay with them.